If you didn’t know..

I guess I’ve only started to tell people about my condition recently because the surgery is finally happening. Over a year and a half ago, I discovered I have ASD. It means there’s a hole in my heart that prevents it from functioning properly. I apparently had this since I was very young but have always been misdiagnosed for it being atshma. I had a minimally invasive surgery through a cathader back in march of this year, but they discovered the position of the hole and the size would not work through that procedure. So after several months of waiting I finally got approved for open heart surgery which happens on Aug 31. First question everyone asks me, is if I’m scared?   Fuck yeah I’m scared, but I’ll die before I admit it. I usually just say “no”, and I’m more mad st the fact that had they found this early on and had it fixed.. I probably would’ve been able to grow taller or to my full DNA’s potential. I never mentioned my sickness before because I had a lot of people that grew up with me accusing me of making false claims about being sick and I was just seeking attention. Especially people through my tumblr. I stopped posting about my life and personal details on there because of people passing their judgements, but at this point in my life. I no longer care, because I’m writing these little notes for myself to look back on. If anyone else is interested in reading these good for you, if you’re not that’s fine too. Anyways, I’m sort of glad I can fix this hole so I can hopefully do more physical activity which I was never able to do when I was younger. Which means I can probably go on more adventures and do some hiking!  What I’m worried about is the scar I’ll get from this surgery. I’ve already had plenty of scars before but surgery scars can come out horrid if not healed properly. Well, that’s my life at the moment. Sending good vibes! 

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